








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1231 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1468 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3350 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2451 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,232 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oranjô | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | SweatyMcPitstains | 46% | 158 |
| #3 | Gypsy | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | Llywelyn Fawr | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oranjô | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | SweatyMcPitstains | 46% | 158 |
| #3 | Gypsy | 45% | 150 |
| #4 | Llywelyn Fawr | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SweatyMcPitstains | 54 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Gypsy | 29 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Llywelyn Fawr | 7 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | Oranjô | 5 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SweatyMcPitstains | 389 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Llywelyn Fawr | 215 | 0.44 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gypsy | 158 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Oranjô | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llywelyn Fawr | +2.78 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | Gypsy | +2.62 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | SweatyMcPitstains | +1.62 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Oranjô | -1.15 | 34 | 48 |
| #5 | Fordylicious - The Fumbler | -2.77 | 30 | 51 |





