








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3965 | 57% |
| Smokes | 1897 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 205 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 832 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,969 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SweatyMcPitstains | 40% | 60 |
| #7 | damp socks | 39% | 114 |
| #8 | Fordylicious - The Fumbler | 39% | 23 |
| #9 | gear brylls | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Jetta Opurayta | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oranjô | 38 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | SweatyMcPitstains | 26 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | damp socks | 21 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Fordylicious - The Fumbler | 16 | 0.0327 |
| #5 | HOW ELSE | 11 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Llywelyn Fawr | +3.70 | 80 | 51 |
| #2 | Boris Borrison | +1.63 | 55 | 14 |
| #3 | Oranjô | -0.34 | 35 | 46 |
| #4 | HOW ELSE | -0.36 | 23 | 60 |
| #5 | SweatyMcPitstains | -0.55 | 56 | 60 |





