








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 454 matches | ||
| Faceit | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11894 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4986 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 7446 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7315 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,765,433 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | z1llahh | 50% | 423 |
| #9 | CombatJackdaw | 49% | 78 |
| #10 | valte- | 45% | 64 |
| #11 | fredde | 44% | 70 |
| #12 | PsychZ | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z1llahh | 28 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | valte- | 17 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | CombatJackdaw | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | vasenlaituri | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | fredde | 7 | 0.0046 |





