








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 32% |
| Smokes | 445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 431 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,538 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | røbergツ | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | shinra | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Selfors | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | kos | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Zeny | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | von1z | 53% | 38 |
| #12 | pog | 52% | 25 |
| #13 | Nets | 50% | 6 |
| #14 | VOXEL | 50% | 12 |
| #15 | vASSDAL =DD | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pog | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | shinra | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Ganjah | 2 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | von1z | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | NilseerN | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sev | 114 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | pog | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | von1z | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | shinra | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | NilseerN | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ganjah | +2.79 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Hulk | +2.47 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | Nets | +1.87 | 82 | 75 |
| #4 | Zeny | +1.64 | 62 | 76 |
| #5 | von1z | +1.27 | 67 | 69 |





