








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3122 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3324 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 8624 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 6686 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,913,787 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 888 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwerkWind | 52% | 106 |
| #2 | Dietzson Watson | 52% | 228 |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 51% | 508 |
| #4 | BUZZ | 51% | 276 |
| #5 | Kanye East | 49% | 793 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 51% | 508 |
| #4 | BUZZ | 51% | 276 |
| #5 | Kanye East | 49% | 793 |
| #6 | DJ Chef Shur | 47% | 146 |
| #7 | Wu-Tang Clang | 47% | 565 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye East | 16 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | BUZZ | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | DJ Chef Shur | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Wu-Tang Clang | 9 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye East | 3743 | 0.22 | 91 min |
| #2 | Wu-Tang Clang | 1331 | 0.11 | 37 min |
| #3 | jeroin hunkie | 971 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #4 | Dietzson Watson | 418 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | BUZZ | 399 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeroin hunkie | +1.48 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | BUZZ | +1.24 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | Wu-Tang Clang | +1.13 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | TwerkWind | +0.83 | 33 | 68 |
| #5 | dartman | +0.16 | 77 | 39 |





