








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2117 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1216 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1973 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1887 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,861 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beppo | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | MutedThunder | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | JarJar | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | Coy_ | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Maz | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Coy_ | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Maz | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | WLW | 46% | 63 |
| #7 | Thijs | 42% | 53 |
| #8 | Tycho | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarJar | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Coy_ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Thijs | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Maz | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Tycho | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coy_ | 268 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | MutedThunder | 188 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | WLW | 140 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Beppo | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tycho | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beppo | +3.88 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Coy_ | +3.53 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | The_Lionfighter | +1.79 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | JarJar | +1.15 | 81 | 42 |
| #5 | Maz | -0.51 | 65 | 55 |





