








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 29% |
| Smokes | 974 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1397 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,993 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MutedThunder | 49% | 57 |
| #2 | Maz | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | Tycho | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | Beppo | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | The_Lionfighter | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Beppo | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | The_Lionfighter | 46% | 63 |
| #6 | Coy_ | 46% | 85 |
| #7 | JarJar | 45% | 55 |
| #8 | Thijs | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarJar | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Coy_ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | The_Lionfighter | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Thijs | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Beppo | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Lionfighter | 301 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Coy_ | 249 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Beppo | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | MutedThunder | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Maz | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coy_ | +3.66 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Beppo | +2.79 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | The_Lionfighter | +2.02 | 68 | 79 |
| #4 | JarJar | +0.71 | 84 | 44 |
| #5 | Maz | -1.33 | 66 | 57 |





