








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1264 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1397 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,728 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WLW | 48% | 60 |
| #2 | MutedThunder | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | Coy_ | 46% | 111 |
| #4 | Beppo | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | JarJar | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Beppo | 40% | 57 |
| #5 | JarJar | 40% | 48 |
| #6 | Maz | 39% | 64 |
| #7 | The_Lionfighter | 37% | 83 |
| #8 | Thijs | 36% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarJar | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Coy_ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | The_Lionfighter | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | MutedThunder | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Thijs | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Lionfighter | 424 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | Coy_ | 326 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | MutedThunder | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Beppo | 194 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | WLW | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coy_ | +3.49 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | Beppo | +2.77 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | The_Lionfighter | +1.93 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | JarJar | +1.08 | 83 | 46 |
| #5 | Maz | -0.77 | 67 | 56 |





