








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4191 | 57% |
| Smokes | 1505 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 985 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,569 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOB. <3 | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ✪ bLitZ ✪ | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | ✪Rambo | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | !ntrudeRR✪ | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | GOKUI | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | !ntrudeRR✪ | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | GOKUI | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | lulzsec | 50% | 68 |
| #7 | Epimetheus | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | ObiWanCanBlowMe | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Rambo | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | lulzsec | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | !ntrudeRR✪ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Epimetheus | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ✪ bLitZ ✪ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | !ntrudeRR✪ | 293 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪Rambo | 253 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | lulzsec | 211 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Epimetheus | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ObiWanCanBlowMe | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Rambo | +4.89 | 68 | 75 |
| #2 | !ntrudeRR✪ | +1.09 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | [T]zinGa^ | +1.07 | 45 | 64 |
| #4 | ✪ bLitZ ✪ | +0.53 | 49 | 38 |
| #5 | MOB. <3 | +0.33 | 54 | 41 |





