








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4645 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3310 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5330 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4624 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,271,122 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lizalica | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | Eggroll | 55% | 329 |
| #3 | Borg | 54% | 354 |
| #4 | SQUID is Fine as Wine | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | FrenchFlavor | 49% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borg | 79 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | FrenchFlavor | 57 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Eggroll | 25 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | lizalica | 16 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | SQUID is Fine as Wine | 12 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borg | 856 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | FrenchFlavor | 766 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Eggroll | 420 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | lizalica | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | SQUID is Fine as Wine | 126 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bowser | +3.68 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | Borg | +2.26 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | lizalica | -0.30 | 19 | 44 |
| #4 | FrenchFlavor | -0.63 | 47 | 62 |
| #5 | SQUID is Fine as Wine | -0.64 | 43 | 53 |





