








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7229 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5018 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6967 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4044 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5376 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,319 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnclePezza | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | 1uke | 55% | 387 |
| #3 | Strett | 53% | 165 |
| #4 | Nuts from Berserk | 53% | 321 |
| #5 | Flamingo | 51% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1uke | 847 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | Nuts from Berserk | 614 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Strett | 476 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Flamingo | 230 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheJoenado | 80 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parsnip | +4.10 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | 1uke | +3.56 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Flamingo | +0.25 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | UnclePezza | -0.86 | 69 | 18 |
| #5 | Strett | -2.42 | 54 | 54 |





