








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 265 | 31% |
| Smokes | 118 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 94 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,800 of utility $5 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnclePezza | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Strett | 47% | 74 |
| #3 | 1uke | 47% | 167 |
| #4 | Flamingo | 46% | 81 |
| #5 | Parsnip | 45% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parsnip | 449 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | 1uke | 370 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nuts from Berserk | 280 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Strett | 234 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Flamingo | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parsnip | +6.14 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | 1uke | +4.33 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | Flamingo | +1.65 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | UnclePezza | -0.04 | 68 | 15 |
| #5 | Strett | -2.20 | 55 | 51 |





