








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3286 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2321 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2272 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2596 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,917 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mythix | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Ibrahim Baylan | 66% | 67 |
| #3 | Waffle | 64% | 102 |
| #4 | Wolfie | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Pistachiosmom | 63% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JACCO | 61% | 51 |
| #7 | dominnY | 61% | 122 |
| #8 | Kyber | 61% | 99 |
| #9 | Yella | mihaela.vlc | 59% | 167 |
| #10 | K_A_6 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yella | mihaela.vlc | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Waffle | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Ibrahim Baylan | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | dominnY | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Wolfie | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yella | mihaela.vlc | 1003 | 0.30 | 22 min |
| #2 | dominnY | 588 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ibrahim Baylan | 255 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Waffle | 234 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | JACCO | 154 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humble | +3.06 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Ibrahim Baylan | +3.03 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | Mythix | +2.63 | 94 | 70 |
| #4 | dominnY | +1.93 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | JACCO | +0.22 | 71 | 70 |





