








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3328 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2264 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1899 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,496 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ibrahim Baylan | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | Pistachiosmom | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | JACCO | 66% | 29 |
| #4 | Waffle | 64% | 81 |
| #5 | Kyber | 62% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humble | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Waffle | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Ibrahim Baylan | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | dominnY | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Kyber | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humble | 614 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | dominnY | 492 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | Waffle | 189 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ibrahim Baylan | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | JACCO | 100 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ibrahim Baylan | +3.79 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Humble | +3.35 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | dominnY | +1.77 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | Yella | mihaela.vlc | -0.06 | 52 | 67 |
| #5 | Waffle | -0.10 | 50 | 63 |





