








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1849 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 582 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 221 matches | ||
| Wingman | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 218 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




257 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16699 | 31% |
| Smokes | 15063 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11565 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9722 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,779,292 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | dawerdichkire | 47% | 135 |
| #7 | KoTeJebo | 47% | 176 |
| #8 | Anakin Rizzwalker | 45% | 345 |
| #9 | Daddy Gaul Soodman OwO | 44% | 170 |
| #10 | Jist Silver II | 43% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anakin Rizzwalker | 740 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | Unaliven't | 629 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jist Silver II | 506 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Daddy Gaul Soodman OwO | 379 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | NUMBER TWO MAKOWA FANBOY | 377 | 0.07 | 9 min |





