








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2234 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2133 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,759 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texterplays1 | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Futkarli | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | getschi | 50% | 60 |
| #4 | ResponsibleFruit | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | Clemiboy | 47% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | getschi | 50% | 60 |
| #4 | ResponsibleFruit | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | Clemiboy | 47% | 188 |
| #6 | Ingrimmsch | 45% | 197 |
| #7 | Perfecto Bond | 42% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ingrimmsch | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Clemiboy | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ResponsibleFruit | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Perfecto Bond | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Futkarli | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ResponsibleFruit | 480 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | 309 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 224 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | getschi | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Futkarli | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | +2.06 | 56 | 66 |
| #2 | texterplays1 | +0.19 | 40 | 53 |
| #3 | Ingrimmsch | -0.02 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | getschi | -0.47 | 62 | 48 |
| #5 | Clemiboy | -1.41 | 55 | 56 |





