








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2503 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1872 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1849 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1644 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,594 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texterplays1 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Futkarli | 48% | 54 |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | Pedro | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | Ingrimmsch | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Clemiboy | 47% | 131 |
| #4 | Pedro | 47% | 115 |
| #5 | Ingrimmsch | 46% | 123 |
| #6 | getschi | 43% | 79 |
| #7 | Perfecto Bond | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clemiboy | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Pedro | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Perfecto Bond | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Ingrimmsch | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | getschi | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | 294 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 190 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | getschi | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Futkarli | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texterplays1 | +3.11 | 43 | 40 |
| #2 | Pedro | +1.99 | 56 | 69 |
| #3 | Ingrimmsch | +0.35 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | getschi | -0.31 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | Clemiboy | -0.79 | 57 | 58 |





