








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 277 | 9% |
| Smokes | 433 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1167 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,235 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texterplays1 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Pedro | 42% | 119 |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 42% | 175 |
| #4 | Ingrimmsch | 41% | 140 |
| #5 | Futkarli | 41% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Clemiboy | 42% | 175 |
| #4 | Ingrimmsch | 41% | 140 |
| #5 | Futkarli | 41% | 113 |
| #6 | ResponsibleFruit | 39% | 71 |
| #7 | getschi | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Futkarli | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ResponsibleFruit | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | 300 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | ResponsibleFruit | 275 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Clemiboy | 223 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ingrimmsch | 206 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Futkarli | 73 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pedro | +2.51 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Ingrimmsch | +0.46 | 61 | 60 |
| #3 | getschi | -0.37 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | texterplays1 | -0.60 | 52 | 49 |
| #5 | Futkarli | -0.96 | 33 | 38 |





