








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4933 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4335 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3338 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2781 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,922 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KairaRami | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Smuu | 63% | 48 |
| #3 | wRg | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | MiKi | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Gäis | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toMi | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | BurQeriino | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Smuu | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Skoira | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Ave Maria | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toMi | 245 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | wRg | 175 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #3 | Smuu | 162 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Skoira | 137 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | BurQeriino | 124 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wRg | +3.47 | 79 | 84 |
| #2 | Smuu | +1.29 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | mude | +1.22 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | Ave Maria | +0.85 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | BurQeriino | +0.15 | 40 | 69 |





