








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2502 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2742 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2203 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1965 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,299 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kAKTUS# | 45% | 200 |
| #5 | TorNaD0. | 44% | 95 |
| #6 | pvier | 44% | 48 |
| #7 | valnaR# | 43% | 104 |
| #8 | M1ka | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kAKTUS# | 28 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | TorNaD0. | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | valnaR# | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Luvar | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | TGL | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kAKTUS# | 555 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | valnaR# | 428 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | TorNaD0. | 270 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | TGL | 103 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | pvier | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pvier | +2.81 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | TGL | +1.64 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | M1ka | +1.20 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Luvar | +1.02 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | kAKTUS# | +0.59 | 75 | 62 |





