








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1746 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3551 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $866,544 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Priest | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | NannyMcFee | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Chrissspy | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | AceM | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | ☢ 420sq_ s1mple 2.0 ( ͡~ ͜ʖ | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢ 420sq_ s1mple 2.0 ( ͡~ ͜ʖ | 11 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Goku | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Priest | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Chrissspy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Lambo_03 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Priest | +2.67 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Jinx | +2.17 | 48 | 52 |
| #3 | AceM | -1.39 | 60 | 55 |
| #4 | Bullets4Breakfast | -2.10 | 40 | 40 |
| #5 | Goku | -2.31 | 32 | 47 |





