








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 924 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8848 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6439 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7987 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7014 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,265,637 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420sq_stArk | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | corne | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420sq_stArk | 56% | 79 |
| #2 | corne | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corne | 14 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | 420sq_stArk | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corne | 170 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | 420sq_stArk | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corne | +2.55 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | ☢ 420sq_ s1mple 2.0 ( ͡~ ͜ʖ | -0.86 | 47 | 54 |
| #3 | 420sq_stArk | -0.92 | 55 | 59 |





