








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5359 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7618 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8467 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4423 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,690,553 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 996 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 51% | 281 |
| #2 | newb | 49% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 51% | 281 |
| #2 | newb | 49% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | newb | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | 1489 | 0.25 | 33 min |
| #2 | newb | 661 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UwU_Pu$$y$layer_UwU | +2.92 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | newb | -0.71 | 60 | 66 |
| #3 | Likelycheating | -1.04 | 27 | 68 |





