








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1874 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2134 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2026 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1490 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,244 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | areakosekanshyperbolicus | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | DerLukas01 | 47% | 101 |
| #3 | Lewis Lemurenson | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | SmashMartin | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | SourScr3am | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SmashMartin | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | SourScr3am | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | Philton | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | tauex | 39% | 141 |
| #8 | Boberrrrr | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tauex | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | DerLukas01 | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Lewis Lemurenson | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | SmashMartin | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | SourScr3am | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerLukas01 | 99 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | tauex | 77 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lewis Lemurenson | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | SmashMartin | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SourScr3am | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | areakosekanshyperbolicus | +2.92 | 76 | 47 |
| #2 | Philton | +2.39 | 93 | 65 |
| #3 | Lewis Lemurenson | +1.26 | 53 | 47 |
| #4 | DerLukas01 | +0.38 | 48 | 40 |
| #5 | SourScr3am | +0.31 | 67 | 65 |





