








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2208 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2394 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1926 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2158 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,443 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aFE | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | jjequ | 81% | 37 |
| #3 | syntyny rellestää | 74% | 54 |
| #4 | ❭ KINKKU | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | DJplayeR =D | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nepo | 65% | 40 |
| #9 | MURSU | 65% | 31 |
| #10 | Jasperking2023 | 58% | 53 |
| #11 | compl1cated [ C ] ??? | 58% | 24 |
| #12 | vti | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dak | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | aFE | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | syntyny rellestää | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | amro | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Jasperking2023 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dak | 563 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jasperking2023 | 366 | 0.35 | 11 min |
| #3 | amro | 258 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nepo | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | aFE | 104 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amro | +2.78 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | Ropu/. | +2.21 | 91 | 64 |
| #3 | syntyny rellestää | +1.89 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | Dak | +1.29 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | Nepo | +1.05 | 79 | 68 |





