








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 251 | 23% |
| Smokes | 130 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 177 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,476 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sulphi | 41% | 41 |
| #11 | alexipaw | 35% | 20 |
| #12 | Lambda Fox | 33% | 18 |
| #13 | PURA! | 23% | 13 |
| #14 | Tiro | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | 10 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | alexipaw | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Tiro | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Legalise nuclear bombs 1984 true | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Weguwus Cowneas | 3 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulphi | 127 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | rigel_ | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | 我不懂中文 | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Weguwus Cowneas | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tiro | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |





