








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 928 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 34% |
| Smokes | 270 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 171 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 169 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,283 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peaches | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | eagleJ | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | arrgh | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Tiz | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hot Dog | 6 | 0.15 | 0 min |





