








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 786 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3830 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3376 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2957 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,404,594 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 364 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tiny | 49% | 231 |
| #3 | Nolbay | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | SlyyMan | 46% | 288 |
| #5 | Buddy Dubs | 44% | 79 |
| #6 | ZOOVEER | 41% | 158 |





