








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1307 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1027 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,907 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neo | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Lae | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Koala | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Taaj | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | vicscu | 49% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Koala | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Taaj | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | vicscu | 49% | 191 |
| #6 | Lord of The Pings | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | AyeeeJ | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taaj | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | vicscu | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | AyeeeJ | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | Koala | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Lord of The Pings | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vicscu | 770 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | Taaj | 234 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Koala | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lord of The Pings | 63 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lae | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koala | +3.72 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Taaj | +3.35 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | Neo | +2.79 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | Lord of The Pings | +1.42 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | 4our | -0.72 | 51 | 56 |





