








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5267 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4586 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3511 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3919 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,477 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monsyera | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | CAJUN | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | ako | 76% | 91 |
| #4 | fowl | 72% | 123 |
| #5 | Zeus2k | 72% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | [B]ennyS | 67% | 97 |
| #9 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 63% | 19 |
| #10 | chrome hearts con | 62% | 29 |
| #11 | Snow Quack | 60% | 83 |
| #12 | lynx | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | fowl | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ako | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | CAJUN | 6 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | chrome hearts con | 5 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 788 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | Zeus2k | 472 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | ako | 291 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | [B]ennyS | 287 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | fowl | 264 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | +4.23 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | Sev | +1.90 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Zeus2k | +1.54 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | ako | +1.15 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | fowl | +1.15 | 79 | 70 |





