








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 295 | 16% |
| Smokes | 391 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 569 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,720 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katumba Katumba | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | Balkan Jesus | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Topsigang :) | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | M2NN1K | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | Broto | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katumba Katumba | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | Balkan Jesus | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | Topsigang :) | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | M2NN1K | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | Broto | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M2NN1K | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Katumba Katumba | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Topsigang :) | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Balkan Jesus | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topsigang :) | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Katumba Katumba | 40 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | M2NN1K | 34 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Balkan Jesus | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Broto | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M2NN1K | +3.21 | 89 | 37 |
| #2 | Topsigang :) | +2.36 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Katumba Katumba | +0.28 | 39 | 32 |
| #4 | Balkan Jesus | -1.30 | 49 | 55 |
| #5 | H4NQU3 | -2.07 | 39 | 52 |





