








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 877 | 38% |
| Smokes | 468 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,646 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dogy | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Noname | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | theo | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | lamron_𝔰ʰίє𝔰тY | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | DwarriorIV | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Glue Gun Stanley | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Drek | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | BagelSMITH | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | JD | 29% | 14 |
| #12 | PyramidPete | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DwarriorIV | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | theo | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mythic | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Noname | 26 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | BagelSMITH | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | +3.42 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | lamron_𝔰ʰίє𝔰тY | +2.92 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Mythic | +2.16 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | DwarriorIV | +2.13 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | Noname | +1.42 | 81 | 46 |





