










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
46 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 3 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,353 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BagelSMITH | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Noname | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | theo | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | DwarriorIV | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | đιŘŦ 𝕤ђ𝐈ᵉ𝕤ⓣү | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DwarriorIV | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | đιŘŦ 𝕤ђ𝐈ᵉ𝕤ⓣү | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | đιŘŦ 𝕤ђ𝐈ᵉ𝕤ⓣү | 42 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | DwarriorIV | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | theo | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | BagelSMITH | 7 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Noname | 4 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | theo | +5.57 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | DwarriorIV | +5.09 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | Noname | -0.21 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | BagelSMITH | -0.63 | 43 | 56 |
| #5 | đιŘŦ 𝕤ђ𝐈ᵉ𝕤ⓣү | -1.80 | 35 | 42 |





