








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 861 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4404 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3261 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3017 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3052 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $498,403 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cmc | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Pugstir | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | deamonkeeper | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | Thedoc | 57% | 56 |
| #5 | jon pictogram jones | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | me very smart | 49% | 35 |
| #10 | ixfit | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | Scientist | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | gascaN | 41% | 22 |
| #13 | ImLowOnAmmo | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixfit | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | me very smart | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | deamonkeeper | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | cmc | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | ⛧spid3y⛧ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧spid3y⛧ | 193 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Thedoc | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ixfit | 149 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | cyberdeath | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | me very smart | 116 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixfit | +3.30 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | anonyweed | +2.95 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | Thedoc | +1.21 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Pugstir | +0.90 | 56 | 44 |
| #5 | gascaN | +0.45 | 59 | 68 |





