








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5059 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3663 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2089 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1931 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,979 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | revs | 67% | 64 |
| #2 | Osodank | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | carN | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | 7evaN | 67% | 39 |
| #5 | swim5alive | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brian | 18 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | DatPaladin | 15 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | revs | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | banny | 7 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | john wich | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carN | +4.84 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | revs | +2.59 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | xner | +2.50 | 67 | 75 |
| #4 | 7evaN | +2.41 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | banny | +1.68 | 79 | 42 |





