








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1743 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1956 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1631 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1911 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,565,981 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | john wich | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | xner | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | DatPaladin | 44% | 64 |
| #6 | void | 37% | 90 |
| #7 | Brian | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucianjo | 36 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | void | 25 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | xner | 14 | 0.0192 |
| #4 | Brian | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | DatPaladin | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucianjo | 711 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | john wich | 354 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | xner | 283 | 0.39 | 9 min |
| #4 | void | 263 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | DatPaladin | 192 | 0.15 | 5 min |





