








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
62 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 70 | 49% |
| Smokes | 32 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 33 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $22,250 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p10x | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Moon | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | R8bbe | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | qiklqir | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Ms.Potato | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Moon | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | R8bbe | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | qiklqir | 20% | 5 |
| #5 | Ms.Potato | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | MR.MUSS | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.MUSS | 3 | 0.0345 |
| #2 | Moon | 2 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | qiklqir | 2 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | Ms.Potato | 2 | 0.0230 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qiklqir | 27 | 0.31 | 0 min |
| #2 | MR.MUSS | 23 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ms.Potato | 20 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moon | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | p10x | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | +4.33 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | p10x | +1.02 | 80 | 32 |
| #3 | Ms.Potato | -0.23 | 45 | 52 |
| #4 | R8bbe | -0.79 | 42 | 33 |
| #5 | MR.MUSS | -0.84 | 68 | 50 |





