








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1521 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,670 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chappie_ | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Stafakikus | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Moon | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | p10x | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | Ms.Potato | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | p10x | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Ms.Potato | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | qiklqir | 2 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ms.Potato | 104 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Moon | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | p10x | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stafakikus | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | qiklqir | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | +3.25 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | p10x | +2.59 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | Chappie_ | +1.61 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Stafakikus | +0.50 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | MR.MUSS | -1.24 | 54 | 57 |





