








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2621 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3396 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5494 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3378 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,556,713 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stafakikus | 55% | 177 |
| #2 | Moon | 55% | 143 |
| #3 | braindead | 55% | 176 |
| #4 | Premium Halal Chicken | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | MR.MUSS | 51% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | °Wolfiene° | 50% | 122 |
| #7 | Chappie_ | 48% | 93 |
| #8 | R8bbe | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | lil' fag | 42% | 50 |
| #10 | Ms.Potato | 37% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | MR.MUSS | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | lil' fag | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Stafakikus | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | braindead | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | braindead | 666 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Stafakikus | 407 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Moon | 326 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | °Wolfiene° | 299 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | MR.MUSS | 262 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | +2.61 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | p10x | +1.66 | 66 | 48 |
| #3 | Chappie_ | +1.25 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | braindead | +0.77 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Stafakikus | +0.31 | 78 | 62 |





