








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2066 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2522 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3077 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 77 | 1% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,737 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vUx_ツ | 63% | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ h4ppy | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Hutmacher ツ | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | bonk | 57% | 127 |
| #5 | sneggi | 54% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 30 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | MacSteg | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Hutmacher ツ | 12 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | sneggi | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | vUx_ツ | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MacSteg | 469 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | MS-Raptore | 315 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hutmacher ツ | 243 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | sneggi | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | vUx_ツ | 142 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vUx_ツ | +4.34 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | ✪-kl_ | +2.44 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | MacSteg | +1.80 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | sneggi | +0.97 | 83 | 49 |
| #5 | Hutmacher ツ | +0.77 | 74 | 54 |





