








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 754 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2448 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3143 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,448 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miracoli | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | PaDcOnGaming | 51% | 111 |
| #3 | Brustmilch Enjoyer | 50% | 240 |
| #4 | ✯Snaper CSGOD | 50% | 391 |
| #5 | christian | 48% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaDcOnGaming | 21 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | christian | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ✯Snaper CSGOD | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Brustmilch Enjoyer | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Miracoli | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brustmilch Enjoyer | 834 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | christian | 631 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | anD | 534 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #4 | ✯Snaper CSGOD | 249 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #5 | Miracoli | 93 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | christian | +2.21 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | ✯Snaper CSGOD | +0.64 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | Motion | +0.35 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | anD | -0.36 | 32 | 70 |
| #5 | Brustmilch Enjoyer | -0.54 | 58 | 58 |





