








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3976 | 50% |
| Smokes | 893 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1543 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1475 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,907 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | FartAss | 43% | 28 |
| #15 | Phix | 41% | 22 |
| #16 | JFK | 41% | 32 |
| #17 | reused | 40% | 50 |
| #18 | zuma | 40% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pit Merchant | +4.42 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | WAAHAAA ;} | +4.05 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | reused | +2.39 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | rae | +1.22 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | iphone 5s | +1.20 | 79 | 49 |





