








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 344 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1276 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 500 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,574 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iphone 5s | 161 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | hank | 100 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | GooberFart | 92 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | wumpbumpsumpsump | 78 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pit Merchant | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GooberFart | +4.07 | 92 | 45 |
| #2 | Pit Merchant | +4.04 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | iphone 5s | +1.52 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | kyle edward dalton | +1.16 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | hank | +0.26 | 71 | 55 |





