








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2153 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,052 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exi | 68% | 44 |
| #2 | Mauccab | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | muzolf | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | SiistiKuuSusi | 59% | 69 |
| #5 | dogi | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Papi | 45% | 40 |
| #11 | A-P☂ | 44% | 18 |
| #12 | Möyrymaha | 44% | 39 |
| #13 | OldMinglee | 41% | 22 |
| #14 | Ãrthur | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pennanenn | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Papi | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SiistiKuuSusi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Möyrymaha | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | dogi | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peppe30k | 562 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pennanenn | 202 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | exi | 173 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | SiistiKuuSusi | 165 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Papi | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muzolf | +3.40 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | Mauccab | +2.75 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | Ãrthur | +2.08 | 83 | 79 |
| #4 | Peppe30k | +1.85 | 64 | 71 |
| #5 | exi | +1.84 | 76 | 78 |





