








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1500 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5673 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4092 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5109 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3616 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,921 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 591 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chance | 65% | 113 |
| #2 | Drew | 62% | 85 |
| #3 | flying | 62% | 143 |
| #4 | Bakken | 62% | 68 |
| #5 | TMarked | 62% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TMarked | 62% | 104 |
| #6 | ALDEN | 58% | 184 |
| #7 | lumisade | 57% | 37 |
| #8 | gone camping | 52% | 189 |
| #9 | Ornge | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chance | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | gone camping | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | flying | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | TMarked | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ALDEN | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chance | 509 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | TMarked | 439 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | flying | 430 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | ALDEN | 315 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | gone camping | 310 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flying | +2.87 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | TMarked | +2.33 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | jime | +1.23 | 68 | 75 |
| #4 | lumisade | +0.75 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | Chance | +0.66 | 71 | 66 |





