








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 933 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1026 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1556 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1474 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,165,883 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TMarked | 62% | 71 |
| #2 | Drew | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | JGAMBY | 62% | 86 |
| #4 | Chance | 60% | 86 |
| #5 | jime | 58% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bakken | 56% | 25 |
| #7 | lumisade | 54% | 26 |
| #8 | enfohip | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | gone camping | 44% | 95 |
| #10 | Ornge | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jime | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Chance | 12 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | gone camping | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | JGAMBY | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TMarked | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jime | 833 | 0.23 | 22 min |
| #2 | Chance | 392 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | JGAMBY | 283 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | TMarked | 265 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | gone camping | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JGAMBY | +2.74 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | TMarked | +2.59 | 72 | 68 |
| #3 | jime | +1.03 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | ALDEN | +0.49 | 87 | 51 |
| #5 | lumisade | +0.47 | 72 | 78 |





