








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 672 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 19 matches | 1,958 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 215 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9185 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6953 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 10152 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8606 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,998,519 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nostokurki | 54% | 178 |
| #2 | tesa | 53% | 114 |
| #3 | TMGY™ | 52% | 157 |
| #4 | Joojeps | 51% | 199 |
| #5 | Tauski | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tauski | 51% | 45 |
| #6 | HeavyGod69 | 50% | 200 |
| #7 | AK | 49% | 480 |
| #8 | Jebelius "Old Diesel" | 49% | 119 |
| #9 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 44% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | nostokurki | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Joojeps | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | TMGY™ | 9 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK | 1377 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | Joojeps | 336 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 331 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | tesa | 328 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | nostokurki | 318 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapdu | +1.86 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | TMGY™ | +1.80 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Tauski | +1.28 | 64 | 81 |
| #4 | tesa | +0.72 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | nostokurki | +0.20 | 64 | 70 |





