








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,892 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 184 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5316 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6026 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9319 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6504 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,669,150 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1085 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tesa | 49% | 47 |
| #6 | AK | 48% | 207 |
| #7 | HeavyGod69 | 46% | 286 |
| #8 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 41% | 102 |
| #9 | Mashau | 30% | 44 |





