








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2802 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3926 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3397 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3773 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,201,059 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tauski | 48% | 71 |
| #7 | HeavyGod69 | 47% | 158 |
| #8 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 41% | 178 |
| #9 | Munkkipelle | 36% | 33 |
| #10 | Jeesuslapsi<3 | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapdu | 16 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | TMGY™ | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | AK | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | nostokurki | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapdu | 705 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | AK | 466 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | TMGY™ | 337 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓♛ | 287 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | nostokurki | 268 | 0.08 | 7 min |





