








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 38% |
| Smokes | 227 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,277 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dns1 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | USSR-DDoS | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | fi3ld | 71% | 34 |
| #4 | SN1P3Z | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Serenity | 67% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dns1 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | USSR-DDoS | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | fi3ld | 71% | 34 |
| #4 | SN1P3Z | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Serenity | 67% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fi3ld | 9 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | dns1 | 4 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | SN1P3Z | 3 | 0.0545 |
| #4 | Serenity | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | USSR-DDoS | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Serenity | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | dns1 | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | fi3ld | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | USSR-DDoS | 14 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | SN1P3Z | 5 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dns1 | +5.20 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | fi3ld | +3.59 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | Jet | +3.31 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | USSR-DDoS | +2.89 | 85 | 41 |
| #5 | Serenity | +1.22 | 74 | 53 |





